Those who hate and inflict death, destruction and grief do not make victims who cower in the darkness, instead they create giants who stand in the Light.
~Mark Anthony
Today Is Not That Day

Certain days are painful reminders of the loss of a loved one. September 11 is a day which symbolizes loss and grief on a mass scale, and yet brings it home to all of us on a personal level.

Today Is Not That Day is an affirmation designed to help those suffering from the loss of a loved one. Affirmations are positive statements said to yourself to help uplift you from a negative to a more positive state of mind.

Since posting the blog Today Is Not That Day, I’ve been overwhelmed by requests for more affirmations to help cope with the passing of a loved one.

I was at a loss for what to say or do. The answer came to me during my recent Never Letting Go book signing tour of New York City where I was honored to visit the 9-11 Memorial. Watching the somber yet elegant memorial with its immense waterfalls flowing into the void was serene, yet I felt another emotion surge through me–anger. I was angry that such enormous pain was inflicted by cruel hateful fanatics upon so many innocent people—I felt powerless—and then it dawned on me—that’s the key to healing from the past—realizing I was powerless to change it.

How many times do you feel anchored to the chains of the past? Does  your mind replay a traumatic event over and over to the point you feel no escape from the pain? Do you find yourself looking to someone else for approval or validation?

You may not even realize how much the past has a grip over your feelings in the present and your view of tomorrow.

Do you focus on events in your past which you feel “robbed” you of your validation, self-esteem or even happiness? Were you treated rudely or cruelly by someone? Maybe it was a family member, friend, classmate, co-worker, boss or stranger.

These negative emotions and experiences are intensified when linked to the death of a loved one. How many times have you wished you could go back in time and save someone’s life?

Given the opportunity everyone would go back in time to save the life of a loved one. With the ability to time travel you could change something about your childhood, career or relationship. You may even want to bring last Saturday night’s winning lottery numbers. As long as you’re swinging in to save the day you might as well become a millionaire—right?

Sounds great! But unless your eccentric genius neighbor Dr. Brown invites you to go for a spin in his DeLorean with its newly upgraded flux capacitor, it’s impossible to change the past.

On a serious note, people tend to feel responsibility for the terrible things which have happened to them whether or not they were at fault. This self-imposed burden of responsibility triggers anger, resentment, guilt, and depression which results in low self-esteem.

Realizing how powerless you are can empower your emotional healing.

When the darkness of negativity overwhelms you as your mind replays the death of a loved one, or some other trauma from your past, look to the Light of powerlessness.

Tell yourself:

“I am powerless to change the fact my loved one died.”

“I am powerless to change the past.”

“I am powerless to change his/her behavior.”

Accepting you are powerless to change the past or control the behavior of those who’ve wronged you in the past lifts the weight of responsibility from your heart. This leads to accepting you are the only one responsible for your actions and feelings. It also helps you understand while you cannot change the past, you must learn from it in order to grow personally.

By accepting you have no power to change the past you are now empowered to control the present. The road to healing is not an express lane but rather a long and winding road through many peaks, valleys, and detours, but ultimately you’re the one in the driver’s seat.

You may be powerless over yesterday but you are empowered today for creating a better tomorrow.

Mark Anthony the Psychic Lawyer®
Author of Never Letting Go and Evidence of Eternity

Do you suffer from migraines? If so, there is hope! I am not a doctor, however my work as personal injury attorney, psychic medium and medical intuitive involves healing. This has led me to discovering a treatment which can “outmaneuver” migraines. Migraine Facts It is estimated that 13% of the U.S. population suffer from migraines. This is over 37 million …

Coping with loss is always painful and unfortunately the holidays intensify that pain. What is supposed to be the happiest and most magical time of the year becomes sad, agonizing and lonely for those grieving the loss of a loved one.

In my work as a psychic medium, one of the many uplifting things I’ve learned from spirits is they don’t want you to be sad. One of the reasons I wrote the books Never Letting Go and Evidence of Eternity, is to demonstrate how spirits are pure energy and connected to us. That energetic connection has another name: LOVE!

My late friend, mentor and priest Father Sonny once said, “Grief is the price of love. We grieve as deeply as we have loved, but a life without love isn’t much of a life at all.”

Love doesn’t end at physical death. Through the energy of love, spirits know what is happening in your life. I’ve witnessed how they never want you to be sad. In fact, spirits have communicated how they didn’t want loved ones to skip a holiday or be miserable because of their passing.

Of course, that’s easy for spirits to say—they’re pure energy! Energy doesn’t get sick, doesn’t get old, doesn’t die and isn’t in pain.

For those living in the material world, not being sad is easier said than done. Finding inner peace after the loss of a loved one is a long and difficult process. Then again, if having inner peace were easy, everyone would have inner peace.

Getting to the point where you can celebrate a holiday is a goal to strive for in the healing process. It’s not disloyal to your loved one laugh again. And, if not celebrating a holiday this year is too difficult, then don’t! Wait until you are ready.

It’s also important not to face the holidays alone. This is the time to reach out to family, friends, your faith community or even people on social media. This is why I formed the Never Letting Go Grief Support Group on Facebook. It’s a forum of compassionate and caring friends who share their feelings in a positive and non-judgmental environment.

One of the most important healing tools in the journey through grief is to make contact with your loved ones in spirit. This can be an uplifting experience which leads to a renewed sense of well-being that helps lead to inner peace.

It is my life mission to assist those suffering with loss by facilitating a connection with loved ones in spirit. If you or someone you know may benefit by connecting with the Other Side, I invite you to click on this link: https://evidenceofeternity.com/phone-reading/

Be at Peace,

Many Blessings,

Mark Anthony

During this COVID-19 coronavirus pandemic it is very easy to buckle under the stress and fear surrounding us. So many of us are out of work and wondering when and if the next paycheck will come. Then there is the disease itself, an insidious and highly contagious virus which is spreading like wildfire throughout our country and the world. It doesn’t discriminate and no one is immune. These are truly terrifying times, and as a spiritual teacher my responsibility is to inspire others during these dark and challenging times. But how?

And then I remembered Anita.

When I was a teenager I met Anita. She was an elderly English woman who had lived through the London Air Blitz. Being a history buff, especially when it came to World War II, she had my undivided attention.

“What was it like?” I wanted to know.

“1940 was a dreadful year Mark. Every day for four months the German Luftwaffe bombed London. It was relentless. No matter how hard I try, I can’t get the sound of those dive bombers out of my mind. The Germans put loudspeakers on the plane’s wings so when they dove to drop bombs it made this horrid screeching sound.”

“I’ve read about that,” I replied, “Those were designed to scare people.”

“They did more then that Mark–they killed people.”

“I’m sorry–I–I…” for once my teenage self was at a loss for words.

“We jolly well weren’t giving up–not to those Nazis!”

“That’s amazing!”

“Amazing you say? Mark, it is one thing to read about the London Blitz in a history book or see it in a movie, but the reality was quite different. You never knew what was coming next. One day I went to work and it wasn’t there. Another day I went home after work and it wasn’t there. I will never forget my mother in tears as our house smoldered into ashes. Thank goodness Mum had been detained at work and got home late. It was a direct hit she would’ve been killed. My Dad had been conscripted into the Royal Navy–we were alone–he was somewhere at sea at war. We never knew from one day to the next if he were alive.”

I listened intently.

“The bombings were just dreadful. We’d scurry for shelter in the tubes–the subway as you Americans call them–or if we were at home or work in the nearest basement. The explosions rattled and shook everything as we huddled together, even with perfect strangers–not very English being tactile with a stranger, but those were desperate times and we were all in it together. The explosions rocked the ground, we’d pray the ceilings wouldn’t collapse on us and we’d be buried alive. It was even worse when the lights went out and we’d wait, and wait and wait in total darkness–never knowing if it truly had stopped and if was safe to go out again.”

I hung onto every one of her words.

“Mark, I never had friends like I did then,” she paused thoughtfully. “I can still see their faces. We were comrades in arms, bonded together.”

She looked down and paused to regain her composure. Somehow I knew it was important for her to share her memories with me, and on some level I knew I had to listen and remember her words.

“Lofty,” a tear rolled down her cheek.

“Lofty? I’m sorry Anita, I don’t understand, what’s Lofty?”

“Lofty was a young man I knew–he was thin and very tall–that’s why we called him Lofty. He lived in a flat near me and died when the building was bombed. They never found his body. Hell of a nice guy Lofty was.”

“I lost so many friends, and although it was years ago, the pain feels like yesterday. I often think of happier times before the war. We’d meet at a pub for a pint. It seemed so routine at the time. I guess we didn’t realize how happy how good we had it before the war–but we were so happy.”

“Anita, how did you cope? How did you even want to go on?”

“Stiff upper lip!” she replied as she sat up straight and her eyes lit up.

“What?”

“Stiff upper lip!” she repeated. “A crisis is no time to fall apart. It’s not like we had any other choice but to put one foot before the other and trudge on no matter what. With Mr. Churchill on the wireless encouraging us that no matter how impossible it seemed we were going to survive and win–and we did.”

Even as a teenager I knew when I met Anita that it wasn’t a random occurrence. While we must never take consolation in the suffering of others, sometimes the pain and misfortune others have endured adds perspective to our difficulties. Not for one moment do I downplay the hardship we’re all facing during this pandemic, but we’re not being bombed on a daily basis or being asked to storm the beaches of Normandy or Okinawa. We’re being asked to stay home and watch television. And yes, all of us are facing financial hardship. But this isn’t a permanent condition, it will pass.

There’s a lot we can learn from those terrified Londoners huddled together in basements and subway tubes during relentless air raids and bombings. They were just ordinary people like you and me who in those dark and terrifying days found an inner strength they didn’t even know they had which enabled them to find the confidence to feel no matter what they would survive.

And they did.

And we will too.

So as Anita said: STIFF UPPER LIP!

Many Blessings,Mark Anthony the Psychic Lawyer/Psychic Explorer www.EvidenceOfEternity.com

While the Beatles weren’t my generation’s music neither is Mozart’s music but I listen to that because genius is timeless! Going strong at 78 Sir Paul McCartney recently scored another #1 hit album with McCartney III.

Fame though, is a double edged sword as demonstrated by the headlines “Sir Paul McCartney talks to tree that is ‘spirit of George Harrison.’” These headlines are misleading as it implies there’s something wrong with Sir Paul. During an NPR Interview McCartney said he feels George Harrison’s spirit around a tree Harrison gifted him.

What Sir Paul McCartney described is a “Frequency Beacon” a concept I developed and explained in my book Evidence of Eternity. Everyone experiences Frequency Beacons if you know how to spot them—and that’s easier than you think.

According to quantum physics everything including human beings are energy and interconnected energetically. Love transcends physical death and is the binding energetic force between all sentient beings.

Frequency Beacons bridge the divide with the Other Side by making us receptive to the presence of spirits. They’re set in motion when your brain emits an energetic impulse—such as grieving or just thinking heavily about a loved one in spirit. Suddenly you may feel that person’s presence. Sometimes, there’s an emotional trigger like visiting a place which reminds you of a person who passed, or seeing a physical object—a piece of jewelry, clothing—or maybe even a tree.

Humans aren’t the only ones who emit Frequency Beacons; spirits use them to send us messages of love. Ever feel the presence of a deceased loved one? Glimpsed that person in your peripheral vision? Heard his/her voice? Smelled a familiar scent with no source for the aroma? Had a coherent conversation in a dream? If so, you’ve been on the receiving end of a spirit’s Frequency Beacon.

Sir Paul’s Frequency Beacon demonstrates the emotional bond between the Beatles. There’ve been other super groups but there’s never been anything like the Beatles. Can any of us truly understand what it was like to be a Beatle? As superstars the paparazzi intensely reported everything about their lives especially the group’s contentious breakup. However, before John Lennon passed they’d all reconciled. Years later George Harrison died from cancer.

George Harrison may have been the “Quiet Beatle” but he was also a very spiritual man with deep faith in God and the afterlife. Aside from making music his passion was gardening. That’s why he gave Paul McCartney a fir tree as a gift. During the NPR interview Sir Paul said, “It’s lovely. He gave it to me, so I just planted it. But then, as the years go by, every time I look at it I go, ‘That’s the tree George gave me.’ George has entered that tree for me. I hope he’s happy with that.”

Sir Paul’s Frequency Beacon illustrates how the energy of life flows Within You Without You and With A Little Help From My Friends, In The End—All You Need Is Love.

~Mark Anthony (originally published in Best Holistic Life Magazine, Spring 2021)

A few years ago I had a personal trainer who’d served as a special operations Force RECONN Marine. To describe him as intense would be an understatement. He was tough and somewhat humorless, but definitely an excellent fitness coach. During one session he drastically increased the weight I was supposed to lift. When I complained, he glared at me, “SUCK IT UP! You can do this! You’re a healthy man! NEVER take your good health for granted!”

Not one to argue with a special ops Marine, I “sucked it up” and summoned the energy to finish the set. Although my self-esteem was a tad singed he was right. Never take good health for granted.

Being healthy is more than how many times you can bench press weights; it’s a state of overall physical and mental wellbeing. Maintaining this wellbeing takes commitment and work. It’s worth it because good health enables us to enjoy our lives and the people we love.

To paraphrase a Hindu saying, “Life is precious and as fragile as a drop of dew on the petal of a flower.” It’s empowering to feel great physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. When you’re healthy, it’s easy to take good health for granted. It’s even easier to take the lives of our loved ones for granted when they’re healthy.

My friend Susan, whom I’d known since I was a kid, was energetic, full of life and brought laughter everywhere she went. She was one of those friends who even if I hadn’t seen her in years, it felt like just yesterday since we last met. She loved rock n roll, Halloween and helping people. Susan served as a nurse and specialized in treating terminally ill people. To envision her think Stevie Nicks meets Morticia Addams with a side of Mother Theresa.

Throughout her career Susan cared for thousands of terminally ill people. She treated each one with compassion, dignity and love during their final days of physical life. But there was more to Susan than just caring, there was something mystical, even magical about her. This was particularly apparent with one of her patients, a young man with only hours to live. He was terrified of dying alone and when Susan was called to an emergency for another patient he begged her not to leave.

“Don’t worry—I’ll be right back,” she replied and said a prayer he wouldn’t be alone.

When Susan returned twenty minutes later this frail young man smiled faintly and through tears whispered, “I wasn’t afraid because when you turned to leave—I saw an angel come out of your back and sit on my bed.”

A miracle is an amazing, unexpected and wondrous event that defies logical explanation. Albert Einstein said, “There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

A miracle is also what we pray for during grim and hopeless situations when we feel powerless against overwhelming odds. Nothing makes you feel more powerless than watching someone you love who is dying from a terminal condition and you’re not able to do anything about it.

Susan never took good health for granted because for years she struggled with her own serious health conditions. Eventually these insidious diseases overwhelmed the mortal body of this Earth Angel.

Her brother Peter told me, “In those final weeks, when Susan was unresponsive in a coma, we were by her side telling her how much we loved her. We prayed for a miracle.

We waited for that miracle. And when Susan died, we asked ourselves WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR MIRACLE?

But little did we know—God had already given us our miracle. It had been there all along. Susan’s life was that miracle. That she was born—that she was part of our lives—that she loved us and we loved her—Susan was our miracle.”

Truly, life is precious and as fragile as a drop of dew on the petal of a flower. That is why good health is a precious gift and the people we love are the Miracles in our Midst.

~Mark Anthony (originally published in Best Holistic Life Magazine)

We’ve all heard of “Karma,” the proverbial “whatever you do comes back on you.” Although Karma is a Hindu concept all belief systems teach you can’t escape the consequences of your negative actions. To paraphrase Galatians 6:7 in the Bible “whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.”

It’s easy to be cynical about Karma. We’ve all seen criminals and bullies who hurt others and always seem to get away with it. Don’t we want them to suffer “Instant Karma” where they’re immediately punished for the harm they’ve inflicted? Although Karma isn’t instant, it touches everyone and can take years to reap.

One of my profound Karmic lessons began in Junior High School. I always loved history but unfortunately one of my instructors was Walter Lugo a coach who doubled as a history teacher. He reveled in humiliating students he didn’t like and although I was one of his top students he constantly ridiculed anything I said during class. Things got worse one day when I pointed out an historical error he made during a lecture.

The next day, I was in the hall at a water fountain with my friend Dave. Suddenly Mr. Lugo pushed through the crowd of students and accused me of spitting water at Dave. Before I could protest he shoved me to the floor. Everyone except Dave roared with laughter.

During these days of corporal punishment in schools Lugo knew I was powerless against him. I lay there totally humiliated as he stepped over me and sneered, “You worthless loser. You’ll never amount to anything!”

Apparently Mr. Lugo wasn’t psychic because 10 years later I was the youngest member of my law school class, graduated with honors and serving as a prosecuting attorney for the state of Florida.

One morning while reviewing recent arrest files one caught my attention: “LUGO, WALTER: Shoplifting.”

I reviewed the police report and surveillance video. It was definitely him skulking around the sporting goods department stuffing cheap fishing lures in his coat pockets.

Lugo was about to reap his Karma because my job was to convict him. For a young prosecutor it didn’t get any better than this! The icing on this Karmic cake was that his case was before Judge Emory Cross who relished informing criminal defendants under his jurisdiction they lived “AT THE FOOT OF THE CROSS.”

To avoid trial Lugo’s attorney set the case for a plea and requested Judge Cross be lenient as this minor infraction was outweighed by Walter Lugo’s contributions to the community as a coach, church volunteer and teacher.

“Prosecution have anything to say?” Judge Cross asked.

Walter Lugo struggled to place how he knew me.

“Ten years ago, Mr. Lugo taught me American History.”

Fear flooded Lugo’s eyes.

“I’m deeply disappointed the man who taught me to respect the laws and Constitution of the United States is a thief and a hypocrite.”

Judge Cross glared at Walter Lugo, “were you this young attorney’s history teacher?”

“Y-yes Your Honor, I-I was.”

“Mr. Anthony, should he be adjudicated guilty and spend 30 days in jail?”

“I object!” exclaimed Lugo’s attorney, “If convicted guilty my client will lose his teaching job, benefits and pension.”

“OVERRULED!” thundered Judge Cross, “Well Mr. Anthony?”

“Who’s the loser now?” flooded my mind as I stared at my trembling and powerless former teacher.

Then the light of realization resonated through me that even though Lugo’s bad behavior brought him here it also connected his Karma to mine. While I had tremendous power over Mr. Lugo, on the flip side of the Karmic coin, if I abused that power to inflict revenge wouldn’t they set into motion a new chain of Karma? Would that also mean I’ve become a bully like him?

“Judge Cross, this teacher learned his lesson. Jail time isn’t necessary and I request you keep the conviction off his record.”

“Mr. Lugo, your former student not your attorney has persuaded this court to order no jail and no adjudication, but don’t let me see you here again AT THE FOOT OF THE CROSS!”

Walter Lugo has long since passed. Ironically this teacher’s enduring lesson for everyone is “Be Nice” because Karma isn’t about revenge, but it also doesn’t have an expiration date.

(Originally published in “Best Holistic Life Magazine” Summer 2021 issue. For your FREE Subscription to “Best Holistic Life” kindly visit:  https://www.bestholisticlife.com/

As a nation we are once again witnesses to the senseless mass murders.

The brutal slayings in Uvalde and Buffalo are the latest in a long line of horrific acts of violence inflicted by deranged minds driven by anger, bigotry hatred, violence, mental illness and fanaticism.

Sadly, this is the world within which we reside.

Although I normally avoid politics, I believe it is time we insist our politicians take action. The Native Americans have a saying that “the right wing and the left wing are part of the same bird.” Sadly, this bird has failed all of us by not enacting legislation to keep automatic weapons out of the hands of dangerous and unstable people.

These events may open up your own wounds caused by the loss of your loved ones. On some level you may feel connected to the families of the victims of these murders. If so, you very well may be experiencing “Mourning Sickness.”

Mourning Sickness is part of what is known as “Mass Grief.” This happens when thousands if not millions of people experience grief in reaction to the death of someone they do not personally know. Throughout history the deaths of famous people always elicited a major response. For example, the assassination of Julius Caesar plunged the Roman World into grief, chaos and eventually civil war. The death of President Abraham Lincoln shocked the world as the last casualty of the U.S. Civil War.

In the 20^th Century, television brought the assassination of President John F. Kennedy into millions of homes. In the 21^st Century the terror attack on 9/11 brought Mass Grief to a whole new level. The entire world saw not only death and destruction but made people everywhere feel somehow connected to it. Twenty-one years later due to advances in social media the brutality of the war in Ukraine is the most heavily documented military conflict to date.

As our telecommunications technology has rapidly expanded, we are now privy to the pain and suffering of our fellow humans on an unprecedented scale.

We see this phenomenon frequently in the deaths of celebrities like Robin Williams, Prince, Kobe Bryant, Ray Liotta, Betty White or John Madden. These are people who have been part of our lives even though we didn’t personally know these individuals.

This is a reaction to the pain and suffering of others whom you don’t know personally yet somehow feel akin to during this time of pain.

Yet these feeling of grief are really driven home when the people slaughtered and suffering are everyday people like you and I. The victims in Uvalde were elementary school children and their teachers. They were excited about it being the last day of school. It was supposed to be a happy day. Then terror struck!

It happened in a mainstream USA town—a place where people are supposed to feel safe.

Such brutality leaves us wondering why? It also causes us to struggle with our own feelings—and some of these feelings go beyond shock and sadness.

ANGER!

REVENGE!

These are natural impulses, yet committing acts out of anger and a sense of revenge leads to destructive and nonproductive behaviors.

My advice as an attorney and as a psychic medium that helps people cope with loss is to let the professionals handle the situation. This means law enforcement and the criminal justice system. As much as we may want to take the law into our own hands, it is important to resist that impulse.

On one hand, Mourning Sickness brings so much pain to us, and on the other it also shows how the vast majority of humans actually do care about their fellow humans.

We are all the children of God and to feel empathy for our fellow brothers and sisters of all races, creeds, ethnicity and backgrounds is truly not only compassionate—it is healing. It forces us to confront our own feelings of grief and to work through them.

While anger and rage are normal, we must not let them dominate our thoughts and become our actions. Instead, our focus should be on taking the emotional high road and extent compassion, sympathy and love for the families of the victims.

How can we help in the healing process?

• Help: giving to those who’ve been directly affected. Look for legitimate charities which have set up a contribution fund for the victims.
• Prayer and solidarity. These show the victims’ families that they are not alone in coping with their loss. Losing a loved one is terribly painful and going through the grieving process alone compounds the pain and sadness. This does not mean intruding upon the privacy of the bereaved—but showing them that you care.
• Practice compassion. It is easy to always look for someone to blame instead of accepting the reality that something terrible has happened. Blame leads to anger and hatred.
• Allow yourself time to grieve. My book Never Letting Go is a guide on the journey through grief. Acknowledging and embracing grief is especially difficult for men. In times of grief one can be overwhelmed by shock and disbelief (Uvalde and Buffalo are evidence of that)
• Have a good cry! In The Afterlife Frequency I present the medical studies which have found that tears of grief actually contain stress hormones and other toxins which cause grief. Crying not only purges these chemicals from your body it also stimulates production of endorphins which are the “feel good” hormones in our body. Crying doesn’t make one weak, it can actually strengthen you emotionally and physically. So, if you feel the urge to shed tears of grief for a deceased loved one–do it! It will make you feel better.
• Above all do not suppress your feelings. When we suppress our feelings, we slow the recovery process. It is okay to express your feelings and it is okay to cry. As I describe in detail in Evidence of Eternity, “Grief leads to crime which leads to grief.”

Forgiveness is the most difficult of all virtues. It may seem impossible to forgive those who have inflicted so much death, destruction and pain upon the innocent. Forgiveness may be a life time journey and I’ve found that if you cannot forgive someone, then ask God to forgive that person. It is a good first step.

Just as the soft rains fill the streams, pour into the rivers, and join together in the oceans, so may the power of every moment of your goodness flow forth to awaken and heal all beings — those here now, those gone before, those yet to come. — A Buddhist Prayer for Healing

~Mark Anthony, JD Psychic Explorer/Psychic Lawyer

The journey through grief is one no one wants to take, but it is one we must all endure at some point in our lives. It is a matter of survival, and in survival situations we must accept the unacceptable.

Nothing really prepares us for the loss of a loved one. This is especially true in situations where the death was abrupt and unexpected. The passing could be due to an accident, the onset of a sudden illness, or even due to murder—nothing prepares you for that. Even in situations where you know your loved one is going to die due to a terminal illness, nothing really makes one ready to accept the reality of death.

Years ago, my best friend, Brad, and I went to Costa Rica. Brad was my traveling buddy and we often went on eco-tours together. As we hiked for several miles along the golden sand on the beach, we marveled at the crystal-blue translucence of the ocean on one side and the lush green of the tropical rain forest on the other. I was so caught up in the natural beauty that I didn’t realize I wasn’t wearing shoes when I left the hotel. Unexpectedly, a storm appeared. We were caught in a torrential downpour. Lightning streaked across the sky, creating a dangerous time to be on a beach. We looked to the jungle for cover.

Suddenly, we heard terrifyingly eerie wailing sounds coming from the darkness of the jungle. I’d recently seen the movie Jurassic Park, which was set in Costa Rica, and even though I was sure these sounds weren’t from a dinosaur, they were still frightening. “We can’t go in there!” I yelled through the pouring rain.

We ran toward the hotel, but it was miles away. The frequency of lightning strikes intensified. The rain pounded our bodies. After several minutes of running in the blinding rain and thick wet sand, we’d only traveled about 300 feet. At this point, we could barely walk—much less see. What to do? Brad yelled over the roar of the rain, “We have to go into the jungle.”

“Are you crazy?” I yelled back. “You heard those things—whatever they are! We can’t go in there. It looks dangerous.”

I could hardly hear Brad’s reply, “That may be, but you can’t change the fact we’re caught in this lightning storm.”

Reluctantly, we entered the dense rainforest. The tree canopy held back the rain, but the dark unknown of the jungle was ominous. Whatever creatures were making the screaming sounds were rustling in the trees above us. Something was up there, but what? A barefoot hike through a Central American rainforest was not something for which I had prepared. However, prepared or not, this ordeal had fallen upon me and I had to face it.

Brad saw my look of consternation. Always philosophical, he whispered calmly, “Do you curse the rain? Become angry with the jungle? Or do you change how you respond to the situation?”

“You’re right,” I replied, “It’s not like we have a choice. Let’s keep going.”

Soon we discovered the source of the eerie, animal sounds high above us were the calls of howler monkeys. Like us, they were afraid of the lightning and howled out of fear. When Brad and I figured this out, our tension began to subside, and then we could joke about our plight.

Brad taught me an important life lesson. By surrendering to the inevitable and accepting a bad situation over which we had no control, we were able to change our perspective on the experience. Instead of seeing the rain as a negative force with no end and the jungle as full of shadowy monsters, we pushed forward and endured the ordeal. A barefoot journey through the rain forest was not easy. Negotiating deep underbrush, looking out for poisonous snakes, thorny plants, and menacing creatures in the trees above us was not pleasant. My feet were bruised and bloody, it was painful and exhausting yet eventually, we found a path. Once we had a clear direction, it seemed possible to get through the unknown of the jungle.

In many ways, this is what we must do in order to survive the journey through grief. One of the important lessons in my book Never Letting Go is that we cannot change the fact someone we love has died. For those who remain behind, the death of a loved one is a life-changing event. Even in situations where death is expected, no one is truly prepared for the gravity of the changes that occur. Often these changes are painful, lonely, difficult—and terrifying. The consequences may include depression or financial ruin. Yet there are many different ways to deal with grief. Accepting the reality of the situation and finding the right personal path will get you through grief and lead to important lessons.

~Mark Anthony, JD Psychic Explorer ( Psychic Lawyer^® )

Originally published in Best Holistic Life Magazine, January 2022